Who Am I?
by Tazallie
Summary: A young woman is knocked down in front of the NCIS building. Tony becomes drawn to the unknown woman. The team are given a case involving the kidnapping of a marine's daughter, causing Gibbs to relive a tough memory.Follow on from Toxic.Gabby
1. Chapter 1

**Ok all the usual disclaimers apply to this story. It isn't mine its Mr B's and CBS's I just wish Gibbs was mine, but if I cant have him then at least let Abby and not the director of flashbacks!**

**This carries on from my other story Toxic but isnt really a sequal. Gibbs and Abby are all but living together. I have replaced my original character with Ziva but will not be featuring the loathsome director. **

** Sit back and enjoy and dont forget to feed me...**

**...leave feedback please!**

**  
Chapter one**

The young woman huddled in the doorway and watched the red brick building across the road from her. She watched intently each figure that came and left the building, hoping to spot him, praying she would recognise him. Slowly with fingers tuning blue she pulled the thin trench coat closer around her frail shoulders, brushing at the long hair falling in an unkempt mess around her shoulders. The mass of knotted dark curls her only protection from the biting damp wind blowing around her ears. She shivered, a feeble attempt from a body that had stood too long in the cold winter weather of Washington, a body that had started to slowly shut down from the hardships it had endured living on the streets of too many cities, too many towns. She blinked the water from her eyes, telling herself it was the rain and not the warm salt of her own tears. With a despondent sigh she watched as yet another man walked from the building, opening an umbrella in protection from the icy rain falling from the sky. She shook her head slowly and pushed herself wearily away from the doorway she had stood in for too long; knowing that to stay there any longer would bring unwanted attention on her, attention she knew from experience she could not afford. With heavy steps and a heavier heart she slowly and painfully walked away from the building that had been her last hope. Lost in her thoughts and misery she didn't hear the car careen around the corner, its brakes failing on the slick wet tarmac. She never saw it mount the pavement, its lights trapping her like some grotesque deer. She never felt the cold metal impact her body. As she flew through the air, her only thoughts were of the man she was looking for. The man with no face or name, just a memory etched in her mind, a memory that smelt of freshly carved wood.

As she fell to the wet road, her only image was that of a strange wooden skeleton and the feeling of security as the man cradled her in his arms. As she lay there on the ground she never heard the sound of the car horn blaring, the shouts of the people hurrying to her aid, all she heard was the man from her memory gently calling a name, a name that had no meaning to her, a name she knew was once hers. With that last thought everything went black and the memories ceased as the pain began.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

NCIS Special Agent Tony DiNozzo opened his umbrella as he exited the NCIS headquarters, pulling his coat collar up against the icy wind blowing along the street. He wished to God he hadn't spilled Gibbs's coffee, not only had it gotten him a smack around the head but it had also necessitated the trip out into the rain to procure a replacement. This day had just gone from bad to worse with each breath he had taken today, he thought sourly, as he started to walk towards the coffee shop. No way could it get any worse though he consoled himself as he turned to cross the street. No sooner had the thought crossed his mind though than a car sped round the corner, hitting a large puddle as it passed by him, spraying up a mountain of thick muddy water from the street. Tony stood frozen in time and space as the water seemed to hit him with full force in slow motion. As he stood there dripping with filthy water he turned just in time to see the car mount the pavement, it's headlights highlighting a figure in the centre of its beam. Without thought he threw down the umbrella, shouting a warning as he sped across the road in a vain attempt to prevent the inevitable from happening. He watched in horror as the person was thrown into the air, landing in a sprawled heap on the wet road, and the car screeching to a halt some distance away. He heard others approaching, and barked an order for someone to call 911, seeing the security guards from the NCIS building he shouted at them to get Dr Mallard. Not bothering to see if they obeyed, knowing instinctively that they would, he crouched down on the rain soaked road and checked for a pulse.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Abby Sciuto, a forensic analyst with the NCIS stood in her basement lab and sucked from the large cup of Caf Pow that had mysteriously appeared on her desk ten minutes ago. Her dark eyes twinkled as she thought of its delivery. Gibbs had yelled at her earlier and this was as close to an apology as she would ever get from him, but it was all she ever needed. Gibbs, otherwise known as Special agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs, was her boss and lover. As a Boss he was a terror, he demanded the impossible, expected miracles on a daily basis and never told you what a great job you were doing. But you always knew by the little things, a Caf Pow, or a slight smile in his eyes, or just by the way he didn't kill you that he was pleased with you.

Now as a lover, he was something else entirely, she thought with a huge impish grin. He was incredible, gentle and patient, but still Gibbs, just a different Gibbs, She grinned at her convoluted thoughts, slurping loudly at the dregs of her drink.

"Hope that grin means you have my results" A voice growled in her ear, causing her to splutter her drink all over the floor.

"You made me lose my drink" Abby howled, staring in dismay at the last of the brutal caffeine drink sparkling in the dim lighting of the lab before looking up into the blue eyes of Gibbs.

"That was the last of it" she told him, as she shook the empty cup at him, the ice cubes rattling in the bottom. Gibbs stared at her silently, before his hand reached out, snatched the cup and threw it smoothly into the trash can in the corner.

"You drink too many anyway" he told her, his eyebrow raising slightly "My results" he continued without missing a beat.

Abby narrowed her eyes slightly, her chin rising in defiance as she spun towards her computer. She grinned as she felt her long jet black pigtail catch the side of Gibbs's face. The grin fading as she yelped in pain, as the same pigtail was gripped in his hand, halting her forward motion abruptly.

"Don't do that again" he warned her softly as he used the pigtail to pull her against him. "You wont like the reprisal" he whispered softly into her ear, letting go abruptly and stepping away, his action almost sending her crashing to the ground.

"Don't bet on it" she taunted him, her eyes wide and flashing before she once more moved to her screen. Before she reached her destination, she heard a loud screeching from the small windows looking out onto the street above her lab. The screeching was followed by the loud and continuous sound of a car horn. By the time she had turned to Gibbs in concern, he had already made his way to the doorway of her lab.

"Get Ducky" Gibbs barked, not breaking his long smooth run to the stairs that would take him to street level.

Abby spun round, her finger hitting the speed dial button that would connect her to the NCIS medical examiner Dr Donald Mallard, aka Ducky.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

_"When is Daddy coming home Mommy?" The little girl turned to look at her Mommy briefly before she turned back to the window, watching for him._

"_Soon baby, soon" her mother answered gently, a smile in her voice as she crossed over and stroked her daughters soft hair, dropping a gentle kiss on the curls before walking into the kitchen to check on the dinner._

The steady beat of the heart monitor was the only sound as Tony DiNozzo slowly entered the hospital room. He stood for a moment, his mind flashing back to that evening and the accident he had witnessed. The young woman that had been tossed like a rag doll into the air was now lying attached to various machines. Her outlook bleak. It seemed to Tony that it was even worse that the woman had no name, no family to sit and will her back, no one to care whether she lived or died.

He crossed over to the side of the bed, staring at the dark brown curls that were still tangled and knotted. A large stark white bandage covered half of her head and face. Her injuries were extensive and the doctors were surprised she had survived this long. She had sustained a fractured skull, as well as numerous other fractures to her body. Her spleen had ruptured and had already been removed. If she managed to survive the next 24 hours then the outcome looked no better. They couldn't tell what damage her brain had suffered, and it looked as if she would loose her left leg due to the fact that the damage looked too extensive to repair.

He stared down at her and wondered what colour her eyes were, what she looked like when she smiled, if she had a deep laugh or a soft giggle. He shook his head, the woman was a mess, and not his type at all he laughed in self depreciation. But there was something about her, something that pulled to him. He turned as the door behind him opened softly.

"Ah Anthony, the nurse's told me you had visited our Jane Doe" Ducky said with a gentle smile, before crossing over to stand next to the younger man in his perusal of the woman lying motionless in the large bed.

"Such a pity, that a beautiful young woman should live as she has" Ducky murmured as if to himself.

"How's that Ducky?" Tony asked his eyes curious as the turned to stare back at the much older medical examiner.

"From the way our young Jane here was malnourished, and the many healed fractures, it is apparent that she has been physically abused and most likely homeless and has been for some time" Ducky paused to watch the woman sadly "I fear that she has suffered badly in this life, and has a story to tell us" he continued softly, his deeply lined face creased further in concern. With that he gently patted Tony's arm and walked out of the room.

Tony stood there for a while staring down at the woman, before quietly leaving the room, a determination to his step that had not been there earlier.

"_Where's my damn dinner?" The young girl hurried into the room, a tray balanced in her hands. Trying desperately to hold the heavy tray steady, knowing that if she spilled so much as a drop of the beer she would be in for another beating._

"_Here Momma" she almost whispered as she placed the tray on the woman's large and rolling lap. Hoping and praying that everything was perfect. She stood with her head bowed down, unable to watch as the woman before her checked the contents of the tray. "Where's the damn biscuits?" she snarled, heaving the steaming tray and contents at the young girl, smirking as the contents hit her full force in the face, her tender skin turning red from the hot food._

"_We don't have any Momma" the girl whispered not moving a muscle as the food dripped burning down her skin._

"_You eat my biscuits girl?" the woman sneered, pushing her vast frame out of the worn and food stained easy chair._

"_No Momma" the girl whispered, trying to shrink into her skin, knowing what was coming, knowing that to do anything except stand there and take it was pointless. "You had the last of them yesterday" she whispered as the woman stood so close she could smell her fetid, alcohol laced breath on her cheek._

_She watched as in slow motion the woman raised a large meaty fist…_

"Charging" the doctor called out, then "Clear" as she placed the paddles on the young woman's chest for the second time, the last time. If this didn't work she was calling her. The injuries were too extensive and it would be kinder to let her slip away, she thought sadly. She watched impartially as the woman rose of the bed with the shock of the electricity.

"She's back" the doctor said watching the monitor for a moment, wondering if perhaps it would be have been better if she had died.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Louise: Dont worry, I am still just really setting the scene and making sure all the characters are in place. There will be more Gibbs...and Abby... later in the story.**

**Pryrmtns: I am back! did you miss me:)**

**as always dont forget to feed me...please leave feedback! **

**  
Chapter 3**

"You look like something the dog dragged in" Ziva said as she walked past Tony's desk in the morning.

"Cat" Tony replied without looking up at her, his eyes scanning the screen in front of him.

"What Cat? Did your cat die?" Ziva queried in confusion, turning to stare at Tony as she took of her long coat.

"I didn't know you had a cat Tony" McGee joined in as he walked between Tony and Ziva's desk on the way to his own.

Tony glared at the two of them. "I don't have a damn cat probie, and its cat dragged in, not dog Ziva!" he ground out in frustration, rubbing a hand along his jaw.

"Whatever dragged you in DiNozzo had better drag a razor with it" Gibbs said as he strolled past everyone, coffee cup in hand. He turned as he placed the cup on his desk and peered at Tony for a moment. "You sleep here?" he queried with a deceptively soft voice.

"Yes Boss, I mean no boss" Tony stammered like a first year probie. "I came in early" he said sitting straighter, trying to make himself look more respectable.

"We have a case I don't know about?" Gibbs asked, reaching over into his drawer and pulling out his weapon, checking it and holstering it smoothly.

Tony swallowed nervously, recognising the way Gibbs was acting, knowing that if he didn't have a good explanation for his appearance and exhaustion he was in deep trouble, and with Gibbs that meant mortal danger.

"Uh, no Boss, I was, um, trying to find out who the woman was" he said quickly, his breath coming out in a rush.

"Why?" was all that Gibbs asked, knowing that Tony meant the accident victim.

"Because they still don't have a name for her boss, and it just doesn't seem right" Tony responded quietly, a conviction in his voice that was usually lacking. Gibbs caught the tone and raised a slight eyebrow in response to it, refusing to show that he was pleased with Tony's reaction.

"Not on my time, and not when it impacts on my team" Gibbs growled standing up and crossing to Tony's desk. Placing his hands flat on it he glared at Tony.

"Clear?" he growled. Tony nodded "Good" Gibbs said in response as he stepped back and in one fluid motion and threw a set of keys at McGee. "Get the van, we have a missing child." he said as he turned and headed for the elevator, leaving the other three members of his team just staring after him for a moment, their minds struggling to take in his usual liquid fast changes, before they all sprang into action after him.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Tony, Ziva and McGee walked into the bullpen hours later, wet, cold and exhausted both mentally and physically. They had been searching for the little girl, going door to door, tracing her steps and gathering forensic evidence. But they had turned up nothing to go on. It was as if she had just vanished from the face of the earth. Gibbs had driven them hard, harder than usual at times, an almost desperate quality to his demands. But none of them had minded, knowing that as the minutes and hours passed the chances of finding the little girl got slimmer and slimmer. And so far she had been missing for 8 hours.

"I'll take these items down to Abby" Ziva said, after she had slipped off her soaked jacket. "Maybe she will find something" she said as she hefted a large box of evidence into her arms. No one looked up at her words; they were all lost in their tasks, trying desperately to find the child.

Tony sat in his chair and rested his head in his hands for a moment, wishing he had gotten more sleep last night, knowing that he would get very little until this child was found. He rubbed his hands over his stubble covered jaw wearily, before turning his attention to McGee

"You find anything probie?" he called out, knowing that McGee was working on the little girls hard drive, hopping to find some clue as to her whereabouts.

"Give me a break Tony, I only just started" McGee snapped in uncharacteristic anger. Tony sat back in his chair in surprise, his shock written on his features. McGee looked up and caught the look on Tony's face, rubbing his hand over his brow and tired aching eyes.

"Sorry Tony, do you think we will find her…"

"…Alive?" Gibbs snarled as he crossed to his desk, four cups of coffee clutched in his hands. "Damn right we will" he ground out, his voice and eyes cold and angry. "If I catch so much as a doubt in your voice McGee I will rip your tongue out and shove it up your ass" he berated the young agent, before slamming a steaming cup of coffee down on his desk. He then spun around and slammed one onto Ziva's desk and then Tony's before slamming his body into his own chair and taking a long pull from his own cup.

Both McGee and Tony stared at the cups of steaming liquid on their desks as if they would explode at any moment. Never in living history could they remember Gibbs bringing anyone other than Abby a drink before. Gibbs stared at them over his cup, his eyes narrowed.

"Drink the damn coffee, cos your going to need it" he ordered them, getting up and heading for the elevator, a grin tugging at the corners of his mouth at the way both of them had immediately taken large swallows of the hot brew, both scalding their tongues in their haste to obey him. The grin faded quickly though as he thought of the little girl lost, and the memories it stirred in his own heart.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Abby examined the contents of the box that Ziva had left with her. She checked each item thoroughly whilst still in the evidence bags, checking that chain of evidence had been preserved. Not because she doubted any of the team but because it was part of her job to check, and she took her job very seriously. Well most of the time she thought with a small smile.

"If you're smiling then you had better have some good news for me" Gibbs snarled as he walked into her lab. Abby looked up from her task, her brow furrowed. She was used to Gibbs being a bear with a constant saw head, but his tone had held a different edge to it, one she wasn't sure she liked, but one that she knew in her heart wasn't a good sign.

"I know I am a genius and a miracle worker, but even I can't get results that fast Gibbs" she berated him gently, in the way that only she could. She looked carefully at him, noting the strain around his eyes, the way his lips were smacked hard against each other. Something was wrong here she thought worriedly, something more that a missing child.

"You had damn well better, a child's life hangs by your so called genius" Gibbs shot back, coming to stand close to Abby, anger radiating from him in waves. "I want results Abby and I want them now" Gibbs murmured close to her ear, his tone vicious. With that he turned and walked out of the room without a backwards glance. Abby stood there silently, the evidence bag she had been holding throughout the exchange clutched in her hand as she stared at this new side of Gibbs.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"_Do you think Daddy will like it Mommy?" the little girl asked as she stared at the shiny beaker in her Mommy's hands._

"_Daddy will love it darling, and all the more because you chose it for him" her mother told her with a gentle smile "we will get the nice man to put a special message on it too, so that every time Daddy uses it he will see that we love him very much" her Mommy continued, handing the funny beaker over so that she could look at it too._

"_But Daddy's too big for a beaker Mommy" the little girl said, raising big blue worried eyes at her Mommy, eyes that her Mommy always said were the spitting image of her Daddy's. Her Mommy laughed softly, a gentle tinkling sound that made her feel all warm and tingly inside. She loved it when her Mommy laughed like that._

"_It's not a beaker darling, it's called a hip flask, and Daddy will love it"…_

The woman in the bed stirred slightly, her eyelids fluttered as if she was watching something in her sleep. The monitor beeped in alarm before once more settling into a rhythmic beep. A few moments later a nurse walked into the dim hospital room and checked that everything was ok. She adjusted and checked things, her mind not really on the patient in the bed, but on the job at hand. Not because she didn't care but because she couldn't allow herself to. It hurt too much when they died if you did.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The little girl huddled into the thin blanket and tried not to cry, she wanted to be brave just like her Daddy, but it was really hard to do. She didn't know how long she had been here but she knew that everyone would be worried and looking for her. She kept telling herself that her Daddy and his men would come and rescue her, that they would make the bad lady go away. She just wished he would come quickly, because she didn't think she could be brave for much longer.

She crossed her legs, trying not to thing about the fact that she needed to go to the bathroom desperately. She had told the mean lady when she had come in here a long time ago that she needed to go, but the woman had ignored her. She had just stared at her in a funny way before walking back up the old wooden stairs without a word. She wriggled slightly, her tummy aching with the need to go to the toilet, but as she wriggled the blanket began to fall of her shoulders and the cold crept in. She bent over to grab the blanket, putting pressure on her full bladder. She froze in horror as she felt the warm liquid flood down her legs, chilling quickly in the cold damp air. As her urine pooled onto the thin mattress her tears flowed unchecked down her face. She sat there as still as a statue and begged her Daddy to hurry.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The doctor stood at the foot of the bed and reviewed the chart of the Jane Doe in a coma. "Has any progress been made on her identity?" She asked the nurse with her.

"No Doctor, the police have been unable to find anything, I had hoped that federal agent might, but he hasn't been back to visit." The nurse told her with a sad shake of the head.

The doctor sighed and shook her head, "She's been through a lot in her life" she said, remembering the x-rays she had seen, the multiple healed fractures, the old scars and burns on the bruised and battered body. "I'm going to recommend a DNR be obtained for her" she said softly, hating this aspect of her job, hating that she played God with peoples lives sometimes. The nurse nodded but said nothing, knowing that she would hate to have to make such a choice.

_The young girl huddled in the dark, listening to the scratches and sounds around her. Her eyes were wide in the pitch black, as if she could see what was making the noises if she just opened her eyes wide enough. She pulled her arms and legs closer into her body, trying to make as small a target as possible for the rats and spiders. She shivered in the cold, praying for the daylight to come, at least the sun managed to penetrate the damp and broken wooden boards over the high slim windows, at least then it wasn't this all encompassing darkness. _

_She had long since stopped crying, she had realised after about the fifth time of being shut in this old coal cellar that crying and screaming got you nothing, it didn't help and it achieved nothing. Nothing helped, and nothing ever would she thought in despair._

The doctor looked up from the chart she was signing as the monitor on her patient began to beep alarmingly. She rushed forward to examine her patient but as suddenly as it had started the beep returned to normal. She stood silently for a moment, her hand still resting on the wrist of the frail woman in the bed.

"I don't think it will be long" she murmured to no one in particular, as she gently lay the hand back on the bed and left the room to arrange for the Do Not Resuscitate order, that would eventually end this young woman's life.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Abby twirled around her lab laughing. McGee sat at her computer station a grin on his face.

"We have a lead, we have a lead!" Abby chanted as she twirled round and round. Sarah Jane Smithy had been missing now for 12 hours and so far the investigation had turned up nothing. And Gibbs was driving everyone hard.

Abby pirouetted around with her arms above her head, until she hit a wall with arms. She stopped abruptly, recognising the feel and smell of Gibbs instantly. She turned around in his arms until she faced him, stepping back at the cold look in his eyes. Her arms fell heavily to her sides, her large dark eyes widening in shock at what she had seen in her lover's eyes.

"We have a possible lead Gibbs" she said quietly, her tone unusually subdued.

"I want more than possibilities Abby" Gibbs ground out, his eyes flicking to a nervous McGee "I want answers" he added on, his tone dropping slightly, along with an infinitesimal drop of his shoulders, one that only Abby noticed.

Abby stepped closer to Gibbs, her hand touching his arm softly.

"We'll find her Gibbs, her Mommy and Daddy will have her home safe and sound soon" she told him with a confidence that came from her belief in the team she worked with, from her belief in Gibbs. She tried not to think about the variable of the kidnapper, which was beyond their control, and she would not think of the possibilities he or she represented.

Gibbs stared at her silently, hearing what she was trying to tell him, knowing that her belief in the team was right, but it didn't reduce his fear. A voice floated through his mind _I love you Daddy. _ He closed his eyes briefly against the pain of the last words he had ever heard from his daughter, the daughter who had been kidnapped at the same age as Sarah Jane Smithy.

He opened his eyes, to see Abby staring at him in concern.

"What's the lead Abby?" he asked, his tone husky, unable to shake of the memories completely. Abby stared at him for a brief second before she spun round bouncing over to McGee, her normal bouncy self again. But inside she had filed away this moment to deal with later.

"One of her chat friends isn't who they said they are" she told Gibbs with a huge grin. "And he wants to meet me in an hour" she finished with a twirl of triumph, high fiving McGee as she turned.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Tony walked out of the morgue at county hospital, hating his job sometimes. He was pleased that the child lying there wasn't Sarah Jane, but she was still someone's little girl, someone's lost child. They had had the report of the body whilst it was still being transported and Gibbs had ordered him and Ziva over to the hospital rather than wait for the fingerprints to come through.

He leant against the wall and took deep breaths. This case was really getting to them all he thought sadly.

"Are you ok Tony?" Ziva asked coming to stand in front of him, concern shadowing her eyes. Tony looked up at her, his eyes sad.

"I never get used to seeing dead kids" he said quietly, in a rare display of the inner Tony.

"No, I always find it hard, harder still when they blow themselves and others up" Ziva said watching Tony carefully. "Children are no longer innocent" she said as she turned and walked away. Tony stared after her, not sure if he wanted to hit her or not.

Tony jogged to catch up with her as walked down the corridor,

"I need to make a quick stop why we're here" he said as he pulled alongside her.

"Food again Tony? Your stomach is already getting floppy, more fatty food will only add to it" Ziva told him with disgust, continuing towards the exit.

"Floppy? You mean Flabby, and my stomach is not flabby" Tony declared indignantly, sucking his stomach in for good measure.

"Floppy, flabby, does it matter? It makes the same shape" Ziva queried with a pat to his stomach. Tony batted her hand away.

"It makes a difference and it isn't Flop… Flabby" he declared again "and I don't want food, I want to run upstairs and visit with someone" he said softly, looking away, not willing to let Ziva see the concern in his eyes.

"Ahhh the woman from the accident" Ziva responded finally stopping. "Gibbs wont like it on his time" she informed him, noting the way he wouldn't look at her.

"Gibbs doesn't need to know" Tony told her primly. Ziva snorted a laugh

"Gibbs always knows, I would not be surprised to find a tracking device implanted in us all" she told Tony with a grin as she headed for the stairwell.

"Elevators this way" Tony said, hitching his thumb in the other direction.

"You said you wanted to run up the stairs Tony, so lets run" she informed him sprinting up the stairs "Or are you too flabby to manage it?" she taunted over her shoulder, her voice not even slightly breathless.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"No way, Ziva can do it" Gibbs declared for the second time. Abby had made contact with the possible kidnapper. Sarah Jane had been talking to what she thought was a young girl on an internet forum. They had started to PM each other and had arranged to meet in a park near Sarah Jane's house on the day she had disappeared. McGee had tracked down the IP address as that of a 35 year old male.

They had traced his favourite hang outs and Abby had pretended to be a 9 year old girl. It hadn't taken long for him to make contact. Abby had been surprised when he suddenly asked her to meet him, but knowing this could be the break they needed she had agreed, without Gibbs's approval.

"There is no way Ziva will look like a little kid" Abby threw back at Gibbs, eager to go out in the field, knowing that this might be her only chance ever. Gibbs raised an eyebrow, his gaze raking her in a very intimate way, his eyes telling her in no uncertain terms that neither did Abby.

"No" Gibbs declared flatly, "we can stake out the area, watch who comes" he told Abby and McGee, internally warring with himself, knowing that the idea had some merit.

"Gibbs…" Abby started her eyes serious and determined as she took a deep breath, in preparation of an argument, "There is a little girl out there, counting on us to get her home. We have a chance bossman; I won't get hurt because you won't let me." She told him, watching his eyes carefully, knowing her words were having an impact.

Gibbs stood there silently for a moment, knowing what she said was true, hating it, hating the feelings he was struggling to control. He wouldn't hesitate if it was anyone but Abby, and he knew it wasn't just because she wasn't a field agent, it was also because he loved her.

Gibbs turned to glare at McGee, making the younger agent tremble slightly under the intense gaze.

"Set it up" was all he said, as he turned and left the lab without looking at Abby, not trusting himself to.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Tony stood looking at the woman in the bed. A nurse had been in here when he had arrived, it was the same one he had spoken too when Jane Doe had arrived. She had smiled with pleasure as Tony had walked in, not because she liked him but because as she had told him, everyone should have a visitor. The nurse had also informed him that the doctor was seeking a DNR order, and that they didn't feel she would pull through. She had had a number of instances where they had almost lost her, but each time she had fought back, but only just. It was only a matter of time the nurse said before the order came through.

Tony knew that there was no one to fight, no one to care what happened, and yet for some reason he did. He couldn't explain why he wanted her to live, why he wanted to see her eyes open, but there was something compelling about her, something very familiar about her. But he knew he had never met her, and yet there was definitely something about her that he knew. And he was determined to figure it out and to give her a name, hopefully one that she could live with and not die to.

"_Push upwards, in a smooth motion" her father told her softly, his arms around her, his hands covering hers as they pushed the tool against the wood._

"_Ok Daddy" she said softly, her soft brown curls brushing against her fathers chin, causing him to gently rub his chin on the top of her head, ruffling the dark curls._

"_Why don't you use the 'lectric things Grandpa gave you?" she asked him, turning to look at her father's blue eyes. Her father smiled down at her, his eyes full of love._

"_Because I prefer to use hand tools" he answered, his hands gently moving hers over the wood, a cloud of sawdust tickling her nose, causing her to sneeze which in turn made her Daddy laugh._

Tony turned at the door, as the monitor beeped alarmingly, before once more settling down. Tony knew he had to work fast, he had to find someone to care whether this woman lived or died, he just prayed that there was someone out there, somewhere.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Abby stood in the park, her black hair pulled into a ponytail, secured in place with a red scrunchy, a denim baseball cap covering her head and face. She looked very young, her face free from makeup, a few freckles splattered across her nose and checks. She wore jeans and sneakers with a black t-shirt proclaiming she didn't look for trouble, it just found her. She twirled her hair nervously, whilst her eyes scanned the park for her 'play date', making sure that she checked out the kids, whilst quietly checking out the men in the park. She had to keep reminding herself that she was supposed to think she was meeting a young girl, not a man in his thirties.

She knew that Gibbs was sitting in the van, watching and listening to everything that was happening, thanks to the video and sound equipment hidden in her clothing. She watched as Tony and Ziva walked hand in hand not far from where she stood. They looked as if they really were a couple, she grinned slightly knowing that she would get hours of fun out of the pair of them from this. McGee was sitting not far away, his clothes and appearance that of a homeless guy. Abby thought he really looked the part, she wondered if he smelt it too. She remembered the argument that Tony and he had had, over which one of them should be Ziva's 'date' and which one the homeless guy. They had settled it very maturely, with a game of paper, cut scissors.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Tony and Ziva strolled hand in hand; their eyes constantly moving, checking out everyone they passed.

"Gibbs could get arrested" Tony said suddenly, looking over to where Abby was standing.

"What?" Ziva asked in exasperation, wishing that Tony and McGee had been the lovers and she the homeless person for about the tenth time.

"Doing what he and Abby do, with her looking like that" he said, his head jutting out in Abby's position.

"She isn't really a child!" Ziva declared indignantly, looking at Tony as if he had just stepped out of the nearest asylum.

"Shut up DiNozzo" they both heard through their earpieces, from McGee "Gibbs is listening" he informed them in a hushed tone over the airwaves, as if trying to stop Gibbs from hearing his participation in the conversation.

"Good Advice" everyone heard Gibbs say very carefully over the radio. "Because I will kill you very slowly if you carry on DiNozzo" he warned his voice deadly even over the radio. Ziva smiled in glee at Tony, before linking her arm with his, her expression saying what she was thinking without any words being spoken.

"Heads up" McGee said over his radio, "your 2 o'clock Abby." He said, catching sight of their suspect.

Everybody tensed, ready for whatever was going to happen. Abby turned slightly, getting him in sight, without making it obvious. McGee stumbled drunkenly from the bench, stopping to pick up a cigarette butt, using the action to keep the suspect under surveillance without making it obvious.

As he walked towards Tony and Ziva, Ziva quickly spun into Tony's arms, her lips locking onto his, so that she could keep the suspect in sight as he passed behind them.

"He's heading straight for Abby" she whispered seemingly into Tony's ear, knowing that Gibbs could hear her.

"I have him" Gibbs responded, stepping out of the park maintenance van.

He watched as the suspect crossed the grass to Abby, who ignored him sullenly, as only kids do, her eyes seeming to scan the area behind him as if looking for someone.

Gibbs had to admit that she was doing a great job so far, and that Tony was correct, looking like that she really could get him arrested.

"Hi, are you Abigail?" the man in front of Abby asked with a gentle smile. Abby stared at him with narrowed eyes.

"Yeah" she said somewhat hesitantly, with what she hoped also sounded like a kid's bravado.

"I'm Ashley's dad" he said with a friendly smile, keeping his distance slightly, as if he didn't want to spook the young girl before him. "I found out that she was meeting someone from the internet," he continued with a slight frown as if he was cross with his daughter. "I was slightly concerned that it might not really be a young girl but some weirdo, so I made her wait in the van till I checked it out." He continued with a laugh, pointing vaguely to a van on the other side of the park. "But you are obviously who you said you were" he said happily. He frowned for a moment as he stared at her. "Do your parents know your meeting someone from the internet?" he asked in seemingly genuine concern, at this young girl's foolish action.

"Yeah, they're totally cool about it" Abby said, darting her eyes to the left, knowing that when someone lies they usually look to the left.

The man smiled knowingly, the way a parent does when they catch a child out in a little white lie.

"Ok then, come on over and meet Ashley, then I'll leave you two to get acquainted" he said warmly, turning and heading back the way he had come, looking over at Abby as she hesitated.

"It's ok, just to that van over there, you don't have to come close, but Ashley wont hear me if I call out from here." He told her reassuringly. Abby looked over at the van then smiled, before she bounced over to his side

"Sweet" she said happily, knowing that the team would be following her every move, that they would keep her safe from harm.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Gibbs watched as Abby walked across the park with the suspect, he fought down the urge to run over there and pull her away, knowing that this was the best chance they had to catch the bastard and put him away, for a very long time. Even if he wasn't the one that had kidnapped Sarah Jane, he was still a monster who preyed on young girls.

"Keep them in sight" he said softly into his mike, knowing that he didn't really need to tell the team that, but doing it anyway, leaving nothing to chance.

Gibbs looked over to the van in the distance and suddenly sprinted around the outside of the park. He lost sight of Abby and the suspect near the play area, but allowed his belief in his team to carry him on. He slowed his sprint to a gentle walk as he approached the van from the front, rather than Abby's side approach. He could just make out Abby still walking calmly with the suspect, still some distance away. Gibbs quickly scanned inside the van, noting that there was no one else inside, no supposed child but also no accomplice.

He ducked down out of sight of Abby and the suspect, knowing that if he made a grab for Abby there would be no way he would get away with her.

"They're approaching fast" he heard Tony say into the radio, knowing that they had all worked out his action, that he had trained them well. Gibbs could hear Abby chatting away with the suspect, keeping herself in character all the time. As they approached the van he held himself steady, his gun drawn and ready. He calmed his heart rate as he had been trained so long ago to do; he switched off his emotions and allowed his training and instincts to take over. This was a matter of timing. The suspect had to make a grab for Abby, one that was clear in its intent, and so he and the team had to react fast to prevent escape and harm to Abby. Timing as always was crucial. And Gibbs had no doubt that they would succeed. He hadn't trained them to be the best for nothing.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Abby could feel her heart pounding as they approached the van. She knew that the team were there, that no way would Gibbs let anything happen to her, but it didn't stop her heart racing in fear. God she would give anything for a Caf Pow now she thought.

Abby chatted away, glad that she talked when she was nervous, knowing that it usually drove Gibbs insane, but also knowing that it was something kids often did, so it kept her in character when her brain was turning to jelly.

She watched the van loom ahead of them, and heard the man beside her call out to Ashley. He stopped when there was no response and looked at Abby quizzically, before stepping to the van side door.

"I bet she's wandered off" he said turning with a frown to scan the park. He reached inside his pocket and pulled out a cell phone.

"Can you just have a look in the back window, see if she's in there while I try her cell?" he told her with a quick smile, concern etched on his face. Abby paused for a moment, her eyes wide, not sure if she should. A picture of Gibbs's face flashed before her, furious that she had put herself in danger, his stern warning echoing in her mind, then an image of Sarah Jane flashed before her eyes and before she knew what she was doing her feet carried her to the back of the van.

She didn't hear the man coming from behind, she didn't feel the hand chop against the back of her neck, or his hands catch her as she dropped unconscious into them.

- - - - - - - - - - -

Gibbs listened to Abby and the suspect, completely calm. He pictured them in his minds eye, accurately able to tell where they both we're standing. He heard Abby move to the back of the van, the man following silently. He heard a short sharp sound and then a slight scuffle as if someone was catching something heavy, then the door to the van opening.

He silently positioned himself, knowing from the layout of the van that the man had to come out to get into the drivers seat. He positioned himself so that he wasn't visible from the interior of the van, that he would only become apparent when the man slammed the doors shut.

He caught sight of Tony and Ziva, standing a short distance away, at the ready. McGee was also in position at the front of the van, his hand holding his gun at his side, hidden from view from the casual observer.

He nodded with satisfaction that his team were ready for any and all eventualities.

He heard the suspect backing out of the van and positioned his gun. He watched as a hand came round the van, and slammed it shut. He watched silently as the suspect first saw the gun aimed at him, then the man behind it staring coldly at him. Gibbs watched the surprise flick across his face, followed by fear and anger, and then the need to flee etched itself tellingly on his face. He turned ready to run, only to be greeted by Tony and Ziva, both levelling their guns at his head.

"Go ahead" Gibbs said calmly "Run for it" he continued, his voice so much deadlier for the calm. "Give me a reason to shoot you" he said, wanting desperately to put a bullet in him, not to kill him but to injure him and allow Gibbs a vent for his anger.

He watched with something close to disappointment as the man's shoulders slumped and he raised his hands in defeat. Gibbs felt McGee come and stand silently next to him, taking over his position of cover, freeing Gibbs to go check on the unconscious Abby.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Sarah Jane huddled in the blanket, wrinkling her nose at the smell of her own urine and sweat. She had begun to fear that her Daddy wasn't coming, she had been here so long and he still hadn't come with his men to save her. The mean lady had come down a few times and told her that her parents didn't want her anymore. Sarah Jane had screamed at her, telling her she was a mean stupid lady and that her Daddy would get her. But as time crawled slowly on and her Daddy didn't come she began to fear that it was true. Her Daddy was a marine; he could save anyone that he wanted to. It was his job, so maybe the lady was right and her Daddy didn't want to find her she thought worriedly. She pulled the smelly blanket up further and pictured her Mommy and Daddy in her mind, a small smile creeping on her face. No the lady was wrong, her Mommy and Daddy loved her, and Daddy would soon come and get her, she just knew he would…wouldn't he?

- - - - - - - - - - -

Abby stood in her lab, waiting for the test she was running to end, they had been back two hours and although Abby had a headache she was fine after her dramatic foray into field work. Gibbs had torn a strip off her when she had come round, for putting herself into danger like that. He had informed her with graphic detail exactly what could have gone wrong and what could have happened to her. He had then pulled her into his arms and kissed her with a passion that had literally taken her breath away. As he had held her against his chest, she had felt the tenseness in his muscles, and for the first time she had realised just how hard it had been for Gibbs to remain dispassionate enough to do his job. She had laid her head on his chest and had trembled slightly. Not from the fear of what could have happened, but from the fact that he loved her.

Loving Gibbs was not something that she did lightly, nor was it an easy thing to do. But this had been the first time she had realised just what it cost Gibbs to love her back

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Gibbs sat in the interrogation room, calmly reading the file in front of him. Charles Freedman sat sweating on the other side of the table. He had refused to say anything since they had bought him in, but Gibbs knew that it was only a matter of time till he cracked. Gibbs watched as once more Freedman wiped his sweaty palms down his trouser pants, his eyes darting to the two way mirror, then back to Gibbs. They had been sitting here for over ten minutes now, and Gibbs had yet to speak. Tony had been the first in here to interrogate Freedman, but it had been apparent that it would take more than Tony to get him to talk. Ziva had wanted a crack at him, but although Gibbs respected and trusted her, he knew that she was not the right person for the job. She would end up trying to beat the confession out of him, which might get them Sarah Jane, but would also get Freedman off when the lawyers eventually got involved. And so Gibbs sat and waited patiently for the right time.

After five more minutes Gibbs snapped the file shut with a loud bang that echoed around the room, making Freedman visibly jump, his eyes darting to Gibbs with fear.

Gibbs sat back in his chair for a moment, appearing relaxed, watching as Freedman calmed down again. With lighting quick reflexes Gibbs spun his chair back, his hand hitting the table hard in front of him, his face appearing just inches away from Freedman's. Gibbs stared at Freedman, his eyes boring into his, daring him to so much as breath on him. He watched as Freedman's eyes darted around the room, as if looking for help.

"No one will come in" Gibbs said softly, his tone at odds with his recent actions. "No one will interfere in here" he informed him softly. He watched as Freedman swallowed nervously, his eyes once more darting to the two way mirror on the side wall. "It's just you and me" Gibbs whispered as he leant closer to Freedman, his breath warm on the man's cheek.

"What d…d…do you want?" Freedman asked nervously, trying for bravado and failing dismally.

"Sarah Jane" was all Gibbs said, as he stood and came to stand behind Freedman. Freedman tried to turn to keep Gibbs in his line of sight, but Gibbs placed a heavy hand on his shoulder, forcing him back round.

"I don't know any Sarah Jane" Freedman tried to say, the same line he had been repeating since being bought in.

Gibbs leant down and whispered something into his ear, before standing back and watching Freedman begin to visibly tremble. He waited a moment before crossing back to the other side of the table and sitting back down. His tone and demeanour once more clam and in control.

"Let's start again" Gibbs said softly, his eyes still hard and cold as they bored into Freedman. "Where's Sarah Jane?"

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Sarah Jane lay on the thin mattress, her eyes shut tightly. The mean woman had been down earlier and told her that her Daddy was dead, that he had tried to come and save her but that the mean woman and her friends had killed him, that they would kill anyone who tried to come and find her. Sarah Jane tried hard not to believe her, but she knew that her Daddy would have tried to come and get her, that he would have found her by now. To her young mind it made sense that her if her Daddy hadn't rescued her by now then he surely must be dead. She didn't want to cry, she had seen the smile on the mean woman's face when she had cried before, and she didn't want the mean woman to ever see her cry again. And so she lay on the bed with her eyes tightly shut, trying to keep the tears in, not realising they seeped under her eyelids anyway.

She didn't know how long she lay there but suddenly she heard strange noises from upstairs, as if lots of people were running around, there was banging and muffled shouts as well. She sat up on the bed, wiping her eyes and strained to hear what was happening. She heard the sound of the door opening, the light slowly flooding into the cellar, and huddled closer to the wall, trying to get as far away from the mean woman as she could. She blinked rapidly as the light was flicked on, illuminating not the mean woman, but a man holding a gun. Her first reaction was to push herself further into the wall but suddenly she grinned as she saw the badge on the man's jacket.

Sarah Jane launched herself at the man holding the gun, snuggling into the man's arms as he hugged her tightly.

Daddy had sent men to get her, just as she had prayed he would. Suddenly though she leant back in his arms, and stared fearfully into his eyes.

"Is my Daddy dead?" she whispered in fear, remembering what the mean lady had said.

Gibbs smiled gently down at Sarah Jane

"No, he sent me to get you, he's waiting at home with your Mommy" Gibbs whispered, over the lump in his throat and the pain in his heart. Had his own child wondered why her daddy hadn't come to save her, had she too thought he was dead?


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Tony sat beside the bed; he had arrived twenty minutes ago, arguing with himself the whole time he had driven over to the hospital. This was so stupid he thought, to be drawn to a stranger in a coma. It wasn't as if he didn't deal with things like this everyday. His reaction to the woman was extreme and stupid, he told himself again and again, but not once during his argument with himself had he ever though about turning the car around and going home.

"…So we found the little girl." He continued with his one sided conversation, the one he had started not long after arriving. He had heard once that coma patients sometimes heard people talking, so he had told her about himself, and then gone on to talk about the case they had just finished.

"It's really strange how little kids are really taken with Gibbs" Tony said softly, his eyes puzzled "Cos he is this really scary guy with everyone else, but kids…they just love him" he continued absently. "Oh yeah Gibbs is my boss, he's was a marine gunnery sergeant…" Tony trailed off as the monitor started to beep insistently, an alarming sound to it. He turned his attention to the woman in the bed but she lay perfectly still. Tony reached over for the call button, but before he could press it the beeping settled back into a rhythmic beat once more. Tony took a deep breath, not having been aware that he had been holding it.

"Ya gotta stop doing that" Tony said, chiding Jane, as he had started to think of her, gently. Tony sat back in his chair and sat watching her for a moment, his eyes drawn to her closed ones, there was something familiar about her eyes he thought, as if he had seen them somewhere before. He shook his head, it was properly just that he had visited her so often she was becoming familiar to him he thought to himself silently, crossing his ankles and closing his eyes briefly, it had been a rough couple of days and he was tired he thought as he drifted off to sleep.

"_My Daddy's a marine" she told her class at show and tell. Holding up the medals she had taken from her Daddy's drawer in his bedroom. Daddy hated it when she made a big deal over who he was, but she knew it WAS a big deal, and she wanted to show off her Daddy to all her friends. She knew though that he wouldn't come to school so she had brought the next best thing, she had brought his medals._

Tony woke with a start, his neck aching from having slept in the hard hospital chair. He slowly stretched his muscles out, before turning his attention to Jane. Tony bolted upright, the chair nearly skidding out from under him with his sudden action. Jane lay there with her eyes open and staring at him.

"He was a marine" she croaked before closing her eyes again. With that the monitor beside the bed emitted a shrill alarm, as it flat lined.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Gibbs planed the wood, running his hand over it, making sure that it was smooth. As he felt a small rough patch under his palm he planed it once more

_Push upwards in long smooth strokes _he heard echo in his mind, a ghost from long ago resurrected by the case they had just closed, a case that had had a happy ending, unlike his own.

Abby had wanted to come home with him tonight, but he had refused, needing the time alone. Needing to put his memories and ghost's away.

He put down the plane and crossed to the phone in the corner of the room. He stood staring at the old fashioned phone, his mind and heart in turmoil before with a slow unsure movement he picked up the receiver. He dialled the number from memory, his heart beating in time with each ring of the phone.

"Hello Shannon" he greeted quietly, listening to his ex-wife's voice on the other end of the phone after the TTY operator had relayed his message to her. They chatted quietly for a moment, the reason for the call hanging in the air between them.

"She would be 22 now" Gibbs whispered softly. He heard Shannon gasp slightly on the other end, as she read his message. "I know Jethro" she finally replied "I miss her too, but I can't do this." she continued softly before carefully hanging up the phone on him. Gibbs stood there holding the receiver for a moment, the pain in his heart so great he was sure it would kill him. Slowly a pair of arms encircled his waist, the scent of Abby reaching him as her arms did. He turned slowly in her embrace and for the first time in so long, he leant on someone else.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Tony rushed to the call button, but no sooner had he pressed it than a hive of nurses burst into the room; a doctor sprinted in seconds later.

"Did the DNR come through yet?" she asked, her eyes scanning the monitor before flicking to the clock on the wall. Tony stood not comprehending what the Doctor was on about at first, but suddenly in dawned on him, he spun round to face the doctor, his face contorted into anger.

"DO something NOW" he demanded, not hearing the authority in his voice, knowing only that he wanted this woman to live.

"I have …" the doctor started to say before Tony cut in angrily

"I don't give a damn, it isn't here and you will act NOW!" he told her stepping closer, his eyes glittering in anger. The doctor stared at him for a fraction of a second before nodding her head. She then moved quickly to the re-suss unit and began the task of once more bringing this patient back from the brink of death. She still wasn't sure though if it was the kindest thing to do, but at least now this young nameless woman had someone who cared whether she lived or died, and sometimes the doctor knew, that was what made the biggest difference in a patient's recovery.

"_Your daddy's dead" the woman who said she was her new Momma told her._

"_He isn't! My Daddy is a marine and he works for the marine police now and he will come and get you, he will shoot you with a big gun." She told the horrid fat lady._

"_Your Daddy wont come and get you, because he's dead, just like your Mommy." The woman sneered at her "You're my little girl now, mine to do what I want with, cos no one cares about you anymore" she sneered, back handing the little girl around the mouth._

_She fell backwards, tasting the blood in her mouth, and feeling the tears trickling down her face, she knew that her Mommy was dead. She had seen her lying in the car, blood everywhere. But her Daddy couldn't be dead too, he had to come and rescue her. But she knew that her Daddy would never have left her here for so long unless something had happened to him, and it had been so long now since the bad man had taken her and her mommy away. she shook her head, unable to say anything more through the pain in her mouth and heart. Her Daddy couldn't be dead, he just couldn't!_

Tony watched as Jane rose from the bed, this was the second time she had been shocked but still the monitor showed a flat line. His eyes flicked to the clock on the wall, knowing that time was running out for Jane, if her heart didn't start soon then nothing the doctor did would save her.

_She sat in the house, knowing that Momma would be home soon, she just hoped that she wouldn't be drunk again, but she knew in her heart that she would. She pulled the too small cardigan around her shoulders and huddled for warmth, she wasn't allowed to turn the heating on when Momma was out, Momma didn't think she was worth the money it would cost to heat the ramshackle place they lived in._

_She got up when she heard a car approaching on the mud track, quickly running to the stove and lighting it knowing that Momma would want some food as soon as she walked into the house. She froze hearing Momma laugh, followed by a man's deep drunken laughter. Oh God Momma had brought another man home she thought in terror, her eyes darting to the cellar door._

_She heard Momma and the man walk into the living room, then the heavy tread of Momma's footsteps down the hall coming into the kitchen. The girl turned wide scared eyes on Momma and tried to make herself as small as possible._

"_I was just making some food for you Momma" she whispered, hoping that it would stop the inevitable, knowing that it wouldn't._

_Momma didn't say a word as she crossed to the stove and turned it off, the smell of alcohol, cheap perfume and something else, something musky, wafted past her. Momma turned to her and stared at her, he eyes racking the thin frame, her young body beginning to change into that of a woman's, more noticeable by the clothes too small and threadbare. She sneered as she reached a hand out, to grab the brown curls tightly, pulling the girls head up painfully, with her free hand she pulled open the cellar door and pushed the girl into it._

"_You ain't getting no man of mine" she whispered angrily as she slammed and locked the door, thrusting the girl into darkness._

"Charging" the nurse called out, watching the monitor, and waiting for the doctor's signal, at her nod the doctor pulled the paddles closer to the woman on the bed, and that this was it, this was the last time. They had tried everything they could, if this didn't work, federal agent or not they were stopping.

_She stood in the darkness, knowing that it was different somehow, it wasn't cold and damp, there was warmth to this darkness, something almost welcoming. She turned around noticing a feint glow in the distance. She carefully felt for the steps, but they weren't there, it was a smooth straight path. Slowly and carefully she made her way to the light in the distance. Her feet became more sure, her steps steadier as she rushed to the warmth of the light, the protection it offered. Soon she was close to it, it was so bright and yet it didn't hurt her eyes, if felt like home. She took another step towards it but then paused, looking back into the darkness. She knew that if she stepped into the light then everything would be ok, she would be home and loved again. But she also knew that to step into it would mean that she had never found him. She paused unsure what to do. Suddenly a figure stood beside her, a pretty lady she had never seen before. She had pretty dark hair that fell straight to her shoulders and dark eyes that smiled at her. The woman was wearing a dark trouser suit and white blouse and looked very smart, the kind of way she herself had always wanted to look._

"_It's your choice" the woman told her, placing a hand on her arm. "You can come with me, or you can go back and find him" she said with a soft smile, her hand coming up and rubbing a faint mark in her forehead._

"_Is he dead?" she asked the woman softly, not knowing if she really wanted the answer. If he was then she would never find him, her hope would be gone, but if he wasn't then why had he never come to find her?_

"_No he isn't, and he has never forgotten you" the woman told her. She turned to look at the light once more, then back down into the darkness._

"_I have to know" she said softly stepping back into the dark, the woman smiled and nodded and then both she and the light disappeared._

"She's back" a nurse said quietly as the monitor began to beep slowly, the rhythm becoming steadier as the seconds ticked on. Everyone stood there in silence, each one silently willing the young woman to stay with them, each one praying that the monitor would keep beating. A collective sigh seemed to be released when it appeared she was definitely back. The doctor and nurses all turned to their tasks, equipment being stowed away, reading being taken. Tony just stood there and watched it all silently, wondering if he had done the woman a favour by fighting for her.

The Doctor finished her task and then turned to Tony, watching him sadly for a moment before she crossed over to him.

"Can I have a moment outside?" she asked him quietly, motioning with her hands to the door. Tony tore his gaze away from Jane and nodded, following the doctor into the hall.

The two of them stood silently for a moment, staring at each other, sizing each other up silently.

"Her heart is being weakened by each episode she has, the longer she stays out with each episode the greater the risk of further brain damage" she told Tony gently. Tony just nodded waiting to see where this conversation was going, knowing in his heart what the doctor was trying to tell him. "She has extensive head injuries, with swelling on the brain; she has been in a GCS 7 coma for sometime, with no apparent improvement. I don't think that the patient can survive another episode with any hope of recovery." She told him, her eyes showing compassion and sadness. "The order will be through very soon, and I will exercise it" she told him finally, her eyes scanning his face for understanding. "The kindest thing you can do for her is find out who she is."

Tony stood there for a moment, his mind playing back what he had just witnessed in there. He slowly ran a hand through his hair before nodding his head. With that he turned and walked away, his steps heavy.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Tony sat at his desk and searched every database he could find, but each one in turn had come up blank. There was no trace of Jane anywhere. He leant back in his chair with a sigh of defeat. It seemed that there was no way to find out who she was before she died. He picked up a piece of paper, and absently folded it into an airplane. As he did so though he caught his finger on the edge and cursed at the pain from the paper cut, a small drop of blood welling on the tip of his finger. As he raised it to his mouth to suck the blood away, he paused staring at the dark red drop. He raised his head with a huge grin on his face, before he jumped up from his desk, grabbed his coat and flew out of the building.


	9. Chapter 9

**AN Sorry for the delay but this has been a really difficult chapter to write, keeping them in character and getting across what I wanted. I am not sure it is right but it is the best I can do!**

Chapter 9

Gibbs and Abby sat side by side in the skeleton of his boat, a bottle of Jack just behind them, two empty glasses next to the bottle.

They had sat in silence for awhile now, each comfortable with the other and the silence, each knowing that eventually they would talk. Gibbs turned to stare at Abby, his blue eyes intense. He had three ex-wives, and had had countless relationships but Abby was the first woman he had been with that had been able to deal with his need for solitude and silence. Yes she had ignored him by coming here tonight, but he was glad she had. He had thought he needed to do this alone but he now realised that he needed to deal with this for himself, but not necessary alone. It was easier to think about Kelly with Abby sitting next to him, silent but there.

"I have a Caf Pow moustache growing?" Abby asked with a side look at him and a grin.

"Nope" Gibbs replied with a small smile, "but I better check" he said raising his hand and running his thumb along her top lip, his hand slipping to cup her chin as his mouth met hers. The kiss they shared was tender and gentle, his mouth brushing over hers, tasting and savouring it. He pulled away with a half smile.

"Nope no moustache" he said with a flick of his finger along her lip.

"Sweet" Abby said with a returning smile, "I was getting really worried there the way you was staring at me" she watched him carefully, knowing that he needed to do this in his own time, his own way. That was one of the things she understood most about Gibbs…you did things on his time frame, his way. Well most of the time she thought impishly.

She tucked her hands under her bum, her legs swinging under the boat, like a child waiting for something impatiently. Gibbs watched her, knowing what it was costing her to stay silent, knowing that she wanted to ask him what was going on, and loving her all the more because she didn't.

Gibbs scooted closer to her, his arm coming around her shoulders, pleased at the way her head automatically came to rest on his shoulder, her hand finding its favourite place over his heart.

"Shannon was my first wife; we had a daughter called Kelly. She would be 22 now if she had lived" he said quietly, his eyes staring into the distance, no longer really seeing Abby or his basement but seeing his daughter and another basement, another boat. He felt Abby still under him, but she said nothing. He could picture Abby's face clearly, her large dark eyes would be wider still, her face would be registering her shock, but not anger that he hadn't told her, only concern at the pain he had gone through.

"Shannon and I were happy, Kelly was an amazing little girl, she used to love working on the boat with me." He smiled slightly at the memories those words bought him. "We were going to sail her together when it was finished." He felt Abby shift in his arms slightly, her face watching him, but he didn't really see her locked away as he was in his own memories.

"They had gone to the mall" he said, his voice dropping, the words coming quietly but filled with pain. "I dropped them off and arranged to meet them later on. I had some work to do." He continued not really talking to Abby.

"I was late, and when I got there they were no where around, so I headed home thinking they had caught a cab." He paused for a moment, his eyes distant remembering that day as if it had happened moments ago. "But when I got home the house was silent and empty, I remember driving back to the mall, it was closing time but they weren't there. I found a pay phone and called home, but there was no reply" His voice rang with the fear and frustration he had felt on that night so long ago. "I tried a few friends' houses, just in case Shan had got a lift with someone, but no one had seen them." He finished quietly, his guilt and pain evident in his voice.

Abby had moved away from him at some point, her large dark eyes glistening with tears both for the younger Gibbs and her Gibbs. She laid her hand on his arm, her head resting just above it.

"It isn't your fault" she said quietly, knowing that he would have carried this guilt with him all this time.

"I was late" he said angrily, shaking her off, unable to accept her comfort.

Gibbs stood up and paced the room, a caged tiger in pain. He reached behind Abby and took a long swig from the bottle. Abby watched him silently then held out her hand for the bottle, Gibbs stared at her a moment then handed it over, and she too took a swig then handed it back to him.

"My Marine, my hero and fox" she said softly, her eyes sad and hurting. "You we're late, you didn't kill her" she said softly. Unable to sit still any longer she jumped up and paced the room, feeling Gibbs's pain turning to anger.

"If I had arrived when I said I would, if I had put my family before my damn job maybe Kelly would be here, alive" he told her harshly, taking another swig from the bottle, his control slipping away from him. Abby watched silently for a moment.

"What happened next" she asked him quietly, knowing he needed to tell the whole story, knowing he needed to let go for once.

"I called in NCIS." He said simply. "Security tapes weren't as good back then but they showed Kelly and Shannon being bundled into a car by a man, at gun point. We couldn't get a licence number on the car." He swallowed another swig of alcohol, needing the burning sensation to dull the pain in his heart. "The tape was black and white so we didn't even have a colour, only a make. I had to sit at home and wait for someone to make contact. No one ever did. Two days later the car was found in West Virginia, down a ravine. Shannon was alive but just barely and she had perforated her ear drums, she never got her hearing back. The kidnapper had died immediately, but there was no sign of Kelly." Gibbs paused, unaware of the tears glistening in his eyes, remembering only the moment he had been told, he bowed his head, as if unable to continue before raising it slowly and meeting Abby's eyes for the first time since he had started. "It had been raining hard and they figured he lost control on a bend. The ravine was deep; it took them two days to get the car back up." Gibbs ran his hand through his hair, his eyes once more distant. "They searched but found no sign of Kelly, it was assumed she went into the river, or was taken by animals. We never got her back." Gibbs stopped, his eyes haunted. "I had had his brother dismissed from service and he had later killed himself, so his brother took my family as revenge." Gibbs stopped and stared at Abby, not realising that tears fell from his eyes. "If I had been there on time they would have been safe, Kelly would have lived, and Shannon would still be able to hear" he finished looking away from Abby. He didn't hear her cross to him, her arms slipping around his waist once more, her head resting on his back, holding him tightly.

"You didn't kill Kelly" she whispered to him, wishing she could take away his pain, knowing that she couldn't.

"No I didn't, but I didn't save her either" he whispered, his body unable to sustain the weight of his guilt any longer, he fell to his knees on the dusty floor, allowing Abby to hold him as his pain and guilt consumed him.


End file.
